Preface Many kinds of sexual myths are prevailing throughout the world in many cultures and societies. These are based on misconceptions and fallacies arising out of hearsay, superstitions, bigotry or faulty sexual education. These are the main causes of many psychological sexual problems. The fact that sex is of fundamental importance, can hardly be overemphasised. Sex is the very foundation of existence. The basic sex drive is a universal experience, but what turns people on, differs from culture to culture. Sex still makes some people feel uncomfortable and embarrassed partly because it has been associated for so long with unacceptable and dirty feelings. Sniggering is sometimes a way of covering up these feelings. Embarrassment also comes from the secrecy surrounding the sexual act. Secrets mean you have done something wrong. In societies where sex has been open and free from ideas of guilt; it is accepted much more easily as being normal and natural. A person may be a millionaire, a world leader, an athlete, a wrestler or a distinguished scientist— but still feels inadequate doing a simple act of sex that is common for animals and birds. It is because animals and birds never think about it. They just respond to changing levels of sex hormones which stimulate or curb their reproductive urge. But in the case of men and women, instincts have been crippled by anxiety resulting from negative pre-conditioning normally based on expectations of family and norms of the society. The logic of the various religious leaders is that because sex is necessary to keep the human race going, therefore the sole purpose of sex is reproduction. But it is not accepted by all. You might as well say that since food is necessary to keep the body going, the sole purpose of eating is to stay alive, which won’t convince anyone who enjoys rich foods. If the only purpose of sex were reproduction, nature would have arranged for human females to come on heat only once a year which is sufficient to reproduce the species. While a great deal of sexual activities directly or indirectly relate to reproduction, but having children is not the only purpose of sexual activities. Sex provides release from tension. Sex is stimulating. Any satisfactory sexual experience heightens perception, alleviates boredom and awakens new interests. Sex offers companionship and intimacy as most of us are afraid of loneliness. Sex can also be used as a weapon. Desired behavior can be coerced by withholding sex as a punishment or offering it as a reward. Sex is also a form of recreation, available to all classes and conditions of people throughout the world. Pornography, blue movies and dirty jokes are significant form of entertainment. Sex can also be used as an inducement to buy or sell. With such a powerful medium at our disposal, we surely owe it to ourselves to know as much about it as possible. How you enjoy sex is also a matter of personal preference and is no one else’s business. Just as no two people have exactly the same taste in food or clothes, so no two people like exactly the same thing in bed. Perversion is the name we give to other people’s variations; to our own we call preference. For good sex, we need a relaxed and comfortable setting, plenty of good feelings, self-esteem, placing a higher value on own worth. It is a quality which is particularly likely to develop with age and is absolutely necessary for good sexual relationship. But with an increase in number of sexually transmitted diseases, it is necessary for the readers to differentiate between the rights and the wrongs. Gone are the days when men had to put up with log-like stiff partners. It is now accepted that educated girls have sexual appetites every bit as large as those of men, and have every right to have them satisfied. So, it is not surprising that men feel the pressure on them to perform. I am sure this book will entirely change your attitude towards sex, and will prove to be an informative, educative and enjoyable reading material for you. Hari Datt Sharma
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