Dating is one of the most exciting periods of your life. Suddenly, there are new horizons before you, friendships flower, your personality blooms, and your sense of being a desirable person worthy of affection becomes real. This is a time of great exhilaration, splendor, and discovery. To live it fully is to enjoy one of life’s most delightful experiences. To miss out on dating is a shame and a waste, especially when there is still time to do something about it. Dating is an art, and like all arts it must be cultivated to give results. Approach it with honesty, enthusiasm, energy, and it begins to take form. And soon you have answers to the questions that were worrying you. Long before you actually start dating, you dream about it. Wistfully, you see other fellows and girls out together on dates, laughing, talking, going places, having a seemingly effortless, wonderful time. Before you ever get a date, you see yourself as the gallant hero or the glamorous heroine of a romantic situation. You imagine all the right words and actions so easily, so vividly, that you can hardly wait to start dating. Yet, somewhere inside you anticipate the awkward moments when you will stand tongue-tied and clumsy before some very special person, finding that dating is anything but wonderful. And so you swing between eagerness and anxiety, impatient to try your wings at one moment, and afraid of a take-off in the next. When you consider the nature of dating, this emotional see-sawing is quite understandable. For dating fun is different from the fun a boy has playing ball with the fellows or the joy a girl knows confiding in her closest chum. In dating you are involved with persons of the other sex. You are learning about these other special people. And in the process you are also discovering a great deal about yourself. You are on the threshold of a new kind of experience that is grown-up, romantic, and full of promise for your life ahead as a full-fledged adult. Probably you are wondering when you can start participating in this new exciting experience. For some of you the answer will be easy. If you belong to a closely knit group that does everything together, having dates within that circle of familiar friends will come naturally and simply. But for the majority of young people the answer is not so easy. OVERCOMING BASHFULNESS Shyness with members of the other sex is common among young people. You are not alone in this problem. Getting over self-consciousness to the point where you can relax and be friendly with those you most admire is a challenge. The more thrilled you are with the presence of the other person, the more likely you are to be embarrassed, it seems. But with experience you gradually become more comfortable with the opposite sex. Then, as you develop poise and self-confidence, you discover and put into practice more and more of the art of dating. How to develop that poise and confidence is the question. Since girls grow up sooner, and are ready for dates before boys of their age and grade generally are, a particular problem for a teen-age girl is how to get a bashful boy to notice her. This is why girls’ clubs so often center around planning boy-girl activities. Many a shy boy has come out of himself at a well-planned party. With encouragement he finds that he can carry on a conversation and have fun in a mixed group. OFF TO A GOOD START Soon he, too, is ready for dates, usually first with the girl who was friendly and approachable while he was getting up his courage to ask her. A fellow needs to be reasonably sure a girl wants to go out with him before he asks her. So it’s a girl’s responsibility to let a boy know that she is interested in him, without behaving so boldly that she scares him off. When Girls Take the Initiative There is a thin line between being available and being too forward. The girl who gets a reputation for being a flirt finds that many of the nicer boys and girls avoid her. Yet, when a girl acts too demure or feigns coolness or disinterest out of fear, she may chase boys away and miss out on the fun of friendship and dating. It is important to remember that boys are also scared and shy, and a smile or gesture from you can begin a friendship. Girls frequently ask if it’s all right to telephone the boys they like. Well—let’s look at it from the boy’s point of view. If Joan calls Bill about a specific question, or to invite him to some definite affair, he can respond without necessarily feeling that she has put him on the spot. If she calls repeatedly, or for no particular purpose except to chat aimlessly, his family may tease him and he becomes embarrassed by her “chasing.” Custom has it that a girl may speak first when meeting a boy on the street or in the hallway at school. She doesn’t have to wait for the boy to nod or address her. It’s simple courtesy that she recognizes him with some friendly greeting or gesture. She does this by making some pleasant sign that she recognizes the boy, and that she feels friendly toward him. She may smile or nod, or say “Hello” or “Hi, Bill!” Perhaps she’ll add some casual remark. But a girl should not interrupt a boy who is talking to someone or is with a group of fellows, or is obviously absorbed in something else. That, too, is simple courtesy. If a boy indicates his awareness of her by disengaging himself from the group, or shows her in some other way that he knows she’s there, she greets him. A girl gets a reputation for being “fast” not because she’s friendly toward boys but because of the way she behaves when they are around. The “forward” girl overly emphasizes the fact that she’s a female—by the way in which she dresses, walks, talks, looks, and laughs. She goes beyond the bounds of what is considered “nice” in her attention to the boys. By her seductiveness she encourages boys to be too fresh, too loud, and too boisterous. Is it ever all right for a girl to chase a boy? Throughout the ages women have found ways of being appealing and interesting to the men they have liked. Nowadays girls are taking more initiative than ever. The important thing is that a girl not be too obvious, or she defeats her own purpose. It’s best if she waits for some sign of a boy’s interest before she embarks on a campaign. And then she must make it look as though he, rather than she, is the pursuer. In Grandma’s formula, it’s all right for a girl to “chase a fellow until he catches her.” BOY MEETS GIRL How does a fellow get to meet a girl he likes? is a question many boys ask. Girls who have to use subtle approaches think a boy has no real problem in this direction. But what a boy really wants to know is how to operate so that his advances won’t be rebuffed. Traditionally, a boy asks a mutual acquaintance to introduce him to a girl he wants to meet. He takes it from there, usually with an invitation to a date that will further their acquaintance. In modern settings it’s not always easy to find a go-between. Fortunately, today it’s no longer necessary. If a boy and girl attend the same school or classes, or belong to the same club, that in itself constitutes an introduction. If Janet goes to a different school, then Ted can try attending one or more of her school’s functions in an effort to meet her. The hardest moment, perhaps, comes when a couple are finally face to face. If a boy is an outgoing type of person to whom friendly pleasantries come readily, then it’s easy. He’ll find the right little compliment to pay a girl, the right opening remarks. But the shy, inexperienced boy—and he is legion—will find these first efforts at gallantry very trying. Such a boy ought to plan ahead of time just what he will say to a girl. Even then he may not follow through with his plan; tension may erase every rehearsed word from his mind and he may end up blurting out an abrupt invitation that startles the girl. But if she is sensitive and interested, she overlooks his clumsiness and encourages him with her acceptance, knowing that experience will take the rough edges off her new friend’s manner. I'M A GRAND PARENT - SO I HAVE TO GO THROUGH TEENAGE DATING ALL OVER AGAIN! BUT I LOVE IT WHEN I HAVE GREAT EBOOKS LIKE THIS ONE! IT'S NOT JUST FOR THE TEENAGERS! PARENTS AND GRAND PARENTS MUST READ ALL 110 PAGES TOO! 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